Letters to the Editor.

  Okay, okay, I am not an Editor, but if I had titled this, Letters to the Blogger, it just would not have the same kind of snap to it.  
  I have received numerous letters lately, coincidentally, all written on crisp $20 bills, asking me the following questions:

$20 Bill #1:
"Jimmy, why do you keep posting a "Picture of the Week" - what gives?  Are you on a secret mission or do you have writer's block?"
  Thank you, Bill, for your excellent question!  The truth of the matter is that I have been terribly busy lately and have been unable to compose a new post that would get those neurons of yours to fire like a Fourth of July fireworks show in the park, but I have been able to post some of my most recent pictures on Instagram (I am jimmy1963).  I try to post my favorite pictures for the week, but to be honest, I kind of like them all so I really need an outside judge to make an astute determination as to which pictures are the best, then post some of them.  If you see one of my pictures you like, or one you completely hate and despise, write and let me know, and I will post it, along with your diatribe as to why you hate it, or I will post your beautiful poetic musings as to why you love it.  


$20 Bill #2:
"Jimmy, I love your work - you have such a fascinating style.  How do you create such vivid pictures, and how do you give it such a unique look?"
  Thanks, Mom, for the kind letter!  By the way, I have some more crossword puzzles and books to give you next time I come over.
  As for how I create them, well, if I tell you, then they will not be so special anymore.  But it is really pretty simple.  First, you need to start with a good picture.  By good, I mean interesting.  The quality is almost irrelevant, because the quality can be repaired and man-handled.  Does the picture have anything interesting about it?  Is the subject matter unique, cool, colorful, show motion, or show texture?  Is the subject matter something you wish you had shot a picture of?  If so, then it is probably interesting enough to proceed further.  If not, go back and shoot a more interesting picture.  
  Second, Mom, I start with a unique or interesting picture, then import it in to one of my favorite apps on my iPad.  Mom, an iPad is an electronic gizmo, about the size of a book, about as thin as an Alzheimers medication tablet, and it works magic on a photograph I take.  No, Mom, the picture is not a Polaroid.  No, Mom, there is no place to put the photograph in to the iPad.  Mom, I don't know why they call it an iPad and yes, I know it sounds like something a girl... hey, I really do not want to have this conversation with you Mom, this is getting weird and I am still traumatized from my youth when you dressed me, oh, never mind - that was a long time ago and my mental wounds have healed.  Look Mom, the best way to explain it to you is that the iPad is like a miniaturized photo laboratory with all the smelly, wet chemicals that you dip your photographic paper in to, you look at the picture with the red light on, you expose some light to it here and there, and like magic (but not real magic, because that is impossible), it creates a stunning photograph.  No Mom, the iPad does not contain any harmful chemicals and it will not leak if I carry it in your Toyota.  
  Nevermind.

Original:  This picture was so boring, drab and dark that I almost deleted it on my beloved iPhone before I took another picture.  I am not even sure what possessed me to take a picture of a motorcycle's butt, but I did.  Don't tell anyone - this is just our little secret.  

Final Masterpiece:  It is a really neat feeling to create something and be impressed with the results.  I would say that it is like when I won an Oscar for my portrayal of Jebediah in "Citizen Kane", but I was not in Citizen Kane, I have never won an Oscar, and there was no character by the name of Jebediah in Citizen Kane.  If I had won an Oscar for my portrayal of Jebediah, this is what it would have felt like.  Using my favorite iPad app, Snapseed, I created an HDR, blew out the Ambience and Saturation, then dialed it back so it was not too much.  Then I toned down the Noise with Photoshop.  The lack of noise gives it the nice smooth look, but too much noise reduction gives it too much of a smooth look - there is a fine line you have to figure out for yourself.  Notice how the HDR brought out features (in the dark shadows on the underside of the bike) that were not observable in the original - truly magic, and I stand corrected about my position on magic.  Unfortunately, Instagram crops pictures in to a square shape, so the picture did not receive justice when I posted it - I had to crop it so much that you could not tell what you looking at, and the coolness quotient was diminished.  Coolness Quotient (QC) on the Masterpiece is an obvious 11, on a scale of 1-10, however on the Instragram cropped version, the QC was just a 5 (officially rated at a 5.375).  Enjoy.